littlexgirlxlost's Xanga

Monday, June 13, 2005

Mon, 13 Jun 2005 19:25:40 GMT

Fuck You

fuck you for leaving.
fuck you for telling me your coming back
fuck you for making me sad
fuck you for making me cry
fuck you for making me laugh
fuck you for telling me to come say goodbye
fuck you for having her there
fuck you for swinging us around and playing us like cards
fuck you for making me belive in something for once
fuck you for making me a little less bitchy
fuck you for always being right
fuck you for making me want to stay
fuck you because theres no one else to fuck
youv taken off my edge.
iv bittin of more then i could chew

after i started typing this i relized it sounds like a poem. but its not. its the truth. and its ment for someone. someone who will never read it. Brian left today. i cried this morning. i miss him because theres no one here i can actually trust. Harlen is coming back. might live with me. then ill actually have someone. i have no friends. idk if i sound like whats her face about not having any friends because the reason she doesnt is because shes a bitch. my reason is they all seem to leave. Brian says hes coming back i know for a fact he isnt. its just obvious. maybe. ill call travis's fone to talk to him. hopefully he'll be around. he'll probably find some stupid girl. that Laurie girl hasnt called again and if she does im saying "hes gone. probably wont be back for along time. hes about 12 hours away if you drive. idk how long it will take if you walk but knock yourself out." and if she asked were he is im going to say "im not at liberty to say." haha. dumb bitch. well Serena, and Bum are the only ppl who will hang out with me now. and Bridget. but her Grandma hates us all. Serena is with Sam. so less time with her. and of course Bums with Bridget. so at las im still friendless. until Harlen comes back. in witch he'll probably find some stupid girl. the kids at the park are my friends, like Brandon,Fish, and John. Chase and Brennon. but they arnt the same. well. Jessi hates me guts. idc though if she wanted to beat my ass she had plently of chance to do it today. so idc then she told Serena "well i dont have a problem with you just that slut" but then hmm seems she was talking a TON of shit about serena to me. hmph. oh well. Fuck It. i hope you all enjoy not reading my entrys and just posting. cuz im really not the interesting.

kthnxbi

Sunday, June 12, 2005

Sun, 12 Jun 2005 23:51:33 GMT

omgsh stupid fgts need to stfu.

okay this weekend sucked AGAIN!. okay, so Serena and I got into two more fights. screw that we got over it. Jessi called me a whore. hah yep im such a whore. Leann left. we still arnt friends anymore. Brian met this stupid girl named Laurie. he gave her MY number so now she calls me ALL THE TIME. last night i was so pissed. and she called me this is our convo

her:can i talk to Brian?
me:who is this?
her:Laurie. is Brian there?
*i kick into little preppy girl making fun of vioce*
me:hah lyke no hes out eating dinner with a girl
*the girl was serena but ohwell*
her:do you know when he'll be back
me:lyke omg no i dont. and i dont care either
her:could you tell him i called?
me:hehe lyke no

then i hung up the phone. erg stay away from our dick stupid girl then she just called today

her:can i talk to Brian
me:who is this?
her:laurie
me:dude no he doesnt live here. this is my phone not his.
her:i know but i thought you might be by him
me:no! obviously im not stop calling!
her:you dont have to be a smart ass
me:well you keep fucking calling my phone and it pisses me off
her:well you dont have to be a bitch
me:i am get over it. call his house not mine
then she hung up. stupid whore.

erg i hate her so much. i want her to start shit. ya know what? if Brian did pick her over me; then i would simply steal his smilie and get a butchers knife. i found a HUGE one and get Serena to help and we would obviously beat the shit outa her wigger like ass. shes obsessed and shes met him once. shes really lucky the night we met her Jessi wasnt standing there or she would of been in shit. im really mad trying to get ahold of Brian telling him to make her back the fuck off. Harlen might move in with me. if he wants to hed have a free place. all hed have to do is like moe the lawn. im so mad right now. ERG! DIE i want to kill someone! screw this. i honestly have no friends anymore. stupid assholes. E R G ! Harlen is the only one i trust at the moment. Serena and i keep fighting. and Brian is screwing me,Serena, and Jessi over. and really Alyssa to. E R G im talking shit in this post because its not like anyone reads this shit anyway. then now my neighbor is coming over to question me about Robin. cuz i guess he ran away down here from Oklahoma. yep. so they are questioning me about it. asking me were Brian was last night and if iv seen Robin. cuz oddly enough our neighbors are REALLY good friends with Travis and Robins parents soooo ya they come to spend time with them. Travis will be staying right across the street from me sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo that will be cool i guess. i wonder when GinTHER will get back from Boston. whom knows. eh this is way to long of a post anyway. love you all........NOT.

Wednesday, June 08, 2005

Wed, 08 Jun 2005 19:23:39 GMT

omgsh. has anyone seen Lohan and Ritchie lately? they are so thin! Nicole can actually pull it off without looking to awkward. BUT Linsday looks so gross. and she died her hair bleed blonde its A.W.F.U.L gross. she looks bad.

i hafta go on a diet i really do. i wanna weigh like 100! that would be awsome. not practicle cuz thats to much to lose but still i can wish. that reminds me i got diet pills again! from serena. i need to find a person over 18 to buy me trimspa! that would be way rad. serena is going out with Travis! muahahahahahahahahaha lmao that is absolutely hilarious. anyway. uh thats it. laters

{oh also i need more cds mine are all so boring now.}

Tuesday, June 07, 2005

Tue, 07 Jun 2005 19:01:13 GMT

!!!!!!!!!!PICTURES!!!!!!!!!!!

1}Bailey {not i tis my bff from the 3rd grade} and Harlen
2}Lauren made a camp fire in the haunted woods!
3}Brian and Sere
4}Harlen and Brian.......Harlen reminds me of a little mouse or something it cracks me up i had to post
5}Johns shoe? who knows how i got a pic of his shoe. who wants to know?
not i
6} haha they sold these at my school. sourpuss!

Monday, June 06, 2005

Mon, 06 Jun 2005 02:20:40 GMT

erg. This weekend was officially the worst iv ever had. cha. we went up to durango {me and Bum} and fucking Harlen got black out drunk and started beating the crap outa Bum! they were both drunk and talking shit to each other so really no ones falt. so fucking Coltin gets it broken up and Harlen Leaves and so does Bum then Harlen got jumped by about 6 huge indians! and beats them all to a pulp! lmao! it was insanly hilarious. so the next day more drama cha cha cha. its been awful Bum punched a hole in Dan and Billys wall and so Brian punched him. ya very Dramafull. but i have a new friend! shes really kick ass her names Lea shes way cool basicly a less violent version of me. me and Samantha went to Wal*Mart and played with all the little kids toys. i guess Callie is dating Chrissy or something idk. and idc. shes so gross i despise her i hope she gets stabed. fucking a. i WILL get my cds back from that filthy dyke. i dont really care what it takes. im a bad girl. i made out with Brian alot.....................bad bad *slaps* all in all im glad to be back home for awhile. we went to the mall and to Wal*Mart when we got home. i hung out with Callie havent done that in awhile. well thats it. laters

Friday, June 03, 2005

Fri, 03 Jun 2005 17:27:24 GMT

you think im a sucker?
ah your FUCKING SICK
that only thing i suck
is my mans dick...................
i am the bullet and you are the bullseye
and when i hit. theres nothing left.

okay so waiting for Bumgardener to get off work cuz hes a chode then we are going to DUraAnGooooooooooooooooo yay! iv lost aton of weight. im extremly bored. last night me and Bum went to the carnval and made friends with these ghetto gangster black folk. and some carni guy who was awsome.he said "you guys are the only punk kids iv seen down here. were is everyone else?" i said "in durango or albaquirqe" hahaha then this hick was standing with us cuz hes this friend of bridgets boyfriend and i walked up to him and im all "rednecks suck" and he ignored me and i said "red necks FUCKING suck" and he goes "ya i suck tittys" and i was all "no i think you suck dick" and hes all "you think that" and i was all "naw i dont wanna think about your nightly activitys" and he got all angry and walked away.

^^^ that girl is my IDOL. if i were rich and felt no pain what so ever id have plastic surgry to look like her. well maybe not. but she kicks ass!

i love this girl as well

Wednesday, June 01, 2005

Wed, 01 Jun 2005 21:17:36 GMT

im really sick. and i have to go to summer school. erg. maybe ill getta go to durango this weekend. hopefully. i start SS monday and go 4 days a week for 3 hours. >.< for 2 months!!!!!!!!!!!!! i hope i feel better by friday. i really wanna go up to durango. Serena is in the Mental Hospital again. she OD'ed on Valuim. im on her call list though. i think im the only one that is. i have a password i have to say to be able to talk to her. its hard to pronounce.

Tuesday, May 31, 2005

Tue, 31 May 2005 20:32:27 GMT

i went to durango! i drank and uhh drank and woo! ummm im happy but yet so confused. anyway, tis all

i love you not

Monday, May 30, 2005

Mon, 30 May 2005 22:32:13 GMT

SURVEY

Basics:
[Name] Bailey
[Nickname] Guido
[Screen name] dirtyheroinxox
[Birthday] july 14 1989
[Age] 15
[Astrological sign] cancer
[Chinese zodiac sign?] uhhh idk
[Location] my house
[Sexual Preference] strieght
[Marital Status] not sure at the moment what is hould call it.
[Religion] athiest
[Eye color] green
[Height] 5'5
[Shoe size] 7 in girls 5 in boys
[Parents still together] no
[Siblings] 4 bros and 2 sisters
[Nieces/Nephews] none
[Pets] Sassy,Sneakers,Max,Rocky,Hot Shot,Ruby,Roster
[In school/graduated] 10th
[What do you drive] nothiing

Favorites:
[Color] neon green
[Number] 13
[Animal] cat
[Vehicle] van
[Flower] deadly night shade
[Scent] Margarita
[Drinks] Tea
[Soda] sprite
[Book] Crosses
[Band] The Distillers
[Song] Gimmie Gimmie Gimmie

Do you...
[Color your hair?] ya
[Twirl your hair?] no
[Have tattoos?] ya
[Have Piercings?] ya. lip nose toungue ears
[Have a boyfriend/girlfriend/both?] uh not sure at this moment but i guess no
[Cheat on tests/homework?] yea
[Drink/Smoke?] yes
[ Like roller coasters?] yes
[Wish you could live somewhere else?] anywere else
[Want more more piercings?] my cheak,septum
[Like cleaning?] god no
[Write in cursive or print?] print
[Sweat a lot?] nope
[Own a web cam?] no
[Know how to drive?] yes
[Diet?] :/
[Own a cell phone?] yes
[Ever get off the damn computer?] yes

Have you ever...
[Gotten a speeding ticket?] no
[Been in a wreck?] ya Bum is bad luck
[Been arrested?] i've never been to prison. i dont know why.//if prison is a cell then its raging in my blood this is a song from the heart aint. aint nothing else
[Been in a fist fight?] yes
[Kicked someone in the nuts?] ya
[Stolen anything?] yes
[Held a gun?] cha
[Drank?] yes
[Been so drunk you couldn't remember your name?] ya
[Considered a life of crime?] : / stupid
[Considered being a hooker?] oh ya baby 50 bucks ill blow ya sweet cheaks *sarcasm*
[Cheated on someone? ] yes
[Cried over a girl?] no
[Cried over a boy?] yes
[Lied to someone?] yes
[Been in love?] no
[Fallen for your best friend?] no
[Made out with JUST a friend?] yes
[Been rejected?] yes
[Been in lust?] no
[Used someone?] yes
[Been used?] probably
[Been cheated on?] yes
[Been kissed?] yes
[Experimented with homosexuality?] ya it sucked

[Current mood] confused
[Current taste] cheep beer and ravioli
[Current hair] middle legnth blonde and black
[Current thing I ought to be doing] nothing?
[Current cds in stereo] The Distillers SSDH
[Current crush] Brian
[Current job] being a loser

The last time...
[Last book you read] The Shining
[Last movie you saw] Reqruim for a dream
[Last thing you ate] Ravioli
[Last person you talked to on the phone] Bum

Do you...
[Do drugs?] ya
[Have a dream that keeps coming back?] no
[Play an instrument?] no
[Believe there is life on other planets?] no
[Remember your first love?] icky
[Still love him/her?] :/
[Read the newspaper?] no
[Have any gay or lesbian friends?] yes
[Believe in miracles?] no
[Believe it's possible to remain faithful forever?] no
[Consider yourself tolerant of others?] no
[Consider love a mistake?] duh
[Have a favorite candy?] anything sour
[Believe in astrology?] no
[Believe in magic?] no
[Believe in God?] no
[Do well in school?] average
[Go to or plan to go to college] yes
[Wear hats?] depends
[Hate yourself?] yes
[Have an obsession?] music
[Have a secret crush?] no they know now
[Do they know yet?] yep
[Collect anything?] music
[Have a best friend?] ya
[Close friends?] yes
[Like your handwriting?] no
[Care about looks?] sadly yes

Love life
[First crush] idremember
[First kiss] Justin {the first first i was drunk/young and dont remember the dudes name}
[single or attached?] single
[Ever been in love?] nooope
[Do you believe in love at first sight?] no
[Do you believe in "the one?"] no such thing
[Describe your ideal significant other] I would prefer to be left alone

Juicy stuff...
[Have you ever played a game that required removal of clothing?] no
[Are you a tease?] ya
[Shy to make the first move?] naw

Are you a...
[Wuss] fuck no
[Druggy] erg not now. stupid UAs
[Daydreamer] yes
[Freak] depends on the person you ask
[Dork] kinda
[Bitch/Asshole] hahaha fuck ya
[Brat] yes
[Sarcastic] yes
[Angel] no
[Devil] no
[Shy] no
[Talkative] when I want to be
[Flirty] i guess

10 things that scare me:
1. being without ppl i love
2. death
3. being controlled
4. the sun
5. being changed
6. snakes
7. toads
8. the police
9. water
10. being burned to death

8 things i love:
1. music
2. friends
3. piercings
4. tea
5. graphics
6. computers
7. The Distillers
8. drinking

4 Things I hate
1. throwing up
2. being confused
3. having to ride in the trunk
4. being skrunched up

6 random facts about me:
1. angry
2. alcoholic
3. sad
4. my hair is beginging to dred
5. tired
6. i love music

5 things i plan to do before i die:
1. achieve my dreams
2. be happy and less angry
3. out drink anyone i come across
4. get all the tats i want
5. be thin

4 things i want to do right now:
1. stab someone
2. go to sleep and not wake up
3. go up to durango and live there
4. dye my hair

3 things that annoy me:
1. sensitvity
2. ppl who dont do anything bad
3. ppl who are pussys

2 things i can do:
1. out drink alot of ppl
2. toleraite pain

1 thing i can't do:
1. accept myself

Saturday, May 28, 2005

Sat, 28 May 2005 12:03:53 GMT

woah.

last night was insanly awful. serena got all sick and stupid shit. so me Brian and Jessi all went around looking for some bud {that i cant smoke} and a buyer to get some alcohol {that Jessi cant drink}. so now im going to durango tonight. wooo well its like almost 7 and bridgets on her way to pick me up. its 7 in the AM. god im tired. god. bridget will be here in like 45 mins. i guess ill call Brian when she picks me up. : / im so fucking tired. and last night i didnt get drunk AT ALL. i was SOBER! that is the first friday iv been sober in a long time. in fact thats the first night in general iv been sober. fuck. it was awful. then Jessi left mike came. and i had to walk from Brians house to my dads. fuck it was a long ways. a LONG ass way. and we saw like 30000 car wrecks. jesus. we didnt getta see any dead folk though. damn it. im gonna try to take pictures. cuz were cool like that.